Tag Archives: Eastbound and Down

Eastbound & Down Season 4 Review.

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Man, if you didn’t have the Kleenex out on that last episode then there is something wrong with you, and no, not because of April’s fine ass titties!  Yes Eastbound & Down delivered up a tear jerker, as the greatest baseball player ever Kenny Powers finally found redemption and discovered what was really important after all, which apparently isn’t money and fame (although I still have my doubts).

This review will naturally contain *spoilers* for Eastbound & Down season 4, as well as the series as a whole.

When I wrote about my own personal hero Kenny Powers prior to the final chapter in his life story (which you can read here), I came to the conclusion that Kenny Powers is the embodiment of an American Hero, however like many American Hero’s Kenny got tied down by some big boobed ditz that got herself knocked up so she could tie his womanising ways down.  We find Kenny working a mundane job, living the suburban dream (or nightmare if you have nuts) and generally hating his new life after he had decided that he was too good to play baseball.

Shit wasn’t going well, and Kenny fucking Powers knew that he was better than this.  So after a wild party night with an ex-teammate and some of his chums, Kenny decided ‘fuck family life, I’m a fucking celebrity!’  After coaxing Stevie back from his own kind of hell (some crazy Mexican shit) and defeating his enemy Dontel with some classic Powers razzle dazzle, Kenny has got his life back to being pretty fucking sweet.

With fucking awesome trips to a water park, a boat race, the beginning of the best charity ever (poor black kids) and the creation of the best restaurant idea since the Colonel started frying chicken (Tatters and Tits) Kenny Powers was on a roll that can only be compared to a fat chick rolling down a hill, so yes pretty fucking impressive.  However his once friend Guy Young was super jealous of Kenny’s prowess and decided that he wanted Kenny’s awesome lifestyle, so set out on a sabotage mission.  Guy however didn’t have the intellectual capacity of Kenny fucking Powers and therefore lost in a disastrous fashion.

Things weren’t all going well for Kenny though, as April decided that she’d be a total bitch and try and divorce Kenny for all his fucking money that he had worked to earn despite her big boobed nagging.  After realising that he had already conquered TV to levels that a lesser man could only dream of, Kenny fucking Powers decided that maybe he should move to butt fuck New Mexico to be with his family and instead become the world’s greatest screenplay writer by writing the greatest fucking story ever imagined!  The fucking end.

Damn you have to admire Danny McBride and Jody Hill (the main writers/creators) for what they managed to produce in not only the final season but the series as a whole.  It’s brave to take a comedy series and change not only the setting but most of the cast for every single season.  The one constant is Kenny and Stevie, who just happen to be the shows two best characters, but beyond that every season everything changes.

Kenny Powers is one of those special once in a decade kind of characters.  There is nobody on TV like Kenny Powers, there has never been anyone like Kenny Powers on TV and it is doubtful that there will ever be another character quite like Kenny Powers ever again.  He’s vile, obnoxious, offensive and generally a bit of a dick, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t rooting for him to succeed and win; not only because he is awesome but also because you know that deep down he is a good guy that just can’t get out the way of his own lofty aspirations.

In the fourth season of the show we see Kenny struggle with his new position in life and then we see his struggle with his refound fame and how this affects his relationship with those around him.  Other comedies should genuinely look at the story arc and the character progression which Kenny Powers went through in this season, with Danny McBride acting his sexy ass socks off and a role which he has made legendary.  If it weren’t for the fact that things like the Emmy’s and Golden Globes were so stuck up, Danny McBride would be a stick on for next year’s award for Best Actor.

If Kenny Powers is a unique character, then who the fuck knows what Stevie Janowski is?  It is hard to describe Stevie, other than to say that he is one sick ass mother fucker.  It was disappointing to not see more of Stevie in season four, as he was relegated to a minor sidekick as April and Guy Young took bigger roles leaving him with less screen time.  After some weird stuff with his dick not working and punching a window out, Stevie found his form when his dick started to work; with his failed mugging attempt of Guy Young, his running of Tatters and Tits and his general plastic surgery escapades (the guy really doesn’t have a chin, before and after his accident).  On a plus side, what about Maria’s ridiculously massive titties, putting April’s tits to shame (Stevie always aspiring to be Kenny, even with a cheap Mexican imitation).

The new setting and career path of Kenny worked really well in season four, and Guy Young was a nice advisory for Kenny to battle against throughout, but the villain of the piece has to go to Dixie, the bitch neighbour.  Man did I hate her she was so annoying, always trying to ruin everyone’s fun with her naggy bitchy get to fuck way.  The shit where she talks to her husband and everyone else like they’re a kid but everyone else is too scared to say anything back to her because she’s such a bitch, is reminiscent of many people I know (usually women, but I can think of some men too) who think that they are so great and untouchable, and is a quite brilliantly written part.  She’s meant to be really annoying and dislikeable, and you are meant to be pleased when her marriage breaks up because of Kenny’s lies, because who doesn’t like seeing bad things happen to bad people?  I loved in the last episode where she doesn’t want to watch TV even though everyone else wants to watch Kenny’s new show (which had a nice touch of being on channel 55, Kenny’s old baseball number) and she start to do the counting thing to her husband; 1, 2, 2.5, this is brilliant writing and then is followed up by the even better situation of her husband telling her to go fuck herself and stop being such a bitch.  Just get a divorce man, bitch be crazy.  As a side note the actress also played a really funny part in Curb Your Enthusiasm as a chick that wore inappropriate clothing, a classic episode.

Eastbound has always been great at having special guests come in for an episode or two and make a huge and funny impact without it feeling forced.  They did it with Ashley Schaeffer (Will Ferrell), Eduardo Powers (Don Johnson), Shane Gerald (Jason Sudeikis) as well as others (like the guy that played Casper, but he isn’t famous), however season four possibly threw up one of the best examples of this in the last episode with the boss of the network Ronnie Thelman (Sacha Baron Cohen).  First scene of the last episode and Eastbound introduces a new character, the book says don’t do it, but Eastbound says fuck the book.  It is a classic Eastbound scene as well, with Thelman showing off his considerable knob as well as his large bank balance to a flight attendant as he tells her to meet him in the bathroom (of course she obliges).  Like many of the minor characters in Eastbound, Thelman is pretty ridiculous but you have to laugh at what was an excellent cameo and performance by Cohen, with a particular mention to the weird herpes mark on the mouth that both he and his 13 year old assistant had….

Eastbound has always done excellent party scenes, usually accompanied by some banging tunes, and season four was no different.  The clubbing in the first episode was classic Kenny, and the entire water park episode was just one big party and made for a classic Eastbound & Down episode.

I loved the last season of Eastbound and feel that it hit on most of the areas that as a fan you are looking for them to get, but I was disappointed to not see the return of Ashley Schaeffer, Eduardo Powers or Casper (Kenny’s weird Mexican brother) as each could have added something different to what is supposedly the swansong of a great comedy series.

You may have noticed I wrote supposedly there (if you haven’t, I did), because the way that the final episode ends with the weird telling of Kenny’s future story and his look of disenfranchisement with how his life looks at the current moment, you can’t help but feel that maybe (just maybe) this isn’t actually the last season of Eastbound & Down and that rather the writers are giving themselves some breathing room in case they want to go back to the character a few years down the line, without feeling the need to if they choose to not.

Speaking of that flashback scene, what the fuck was that?  It was funny in a sort of what the fuck is going on here sort of way, as we see Lindsay Lohan try to drag herself through some scenes whilst failing miserably to do so.  Isn’t it funny how Alexander Skarsgard looks more realistic than Lindsay Lohan as an 18 year old, even though he’s like 10 years older than her?  That bitch is a total mess.  I also liked when April gets shot in the alley and Kenny pops the two guys with his magnum, what a shot!

Usually when you watch a season of a comedy, it is hard to write about because quite frankly nothing has really happened in the season; no character progression and no general season long plot.  Eastbound isn’t like that at all, lots of things happen and that in my opinion will make it stand the test of time better than those which are more wishy washy (I’m looking at you Big Bang Theory!).

I still think that the best season of Eastbound & Down was the first season, where I think you have an amazing run of six episodes which hit on every occasion and tell a great story of the fall, rise and then fall again of Kenny Powers.  Although I very much liked the other three seasons, I don’t think what was achieved in the first season was ever really replicated in the seasons that followed; however it is hard to replicate perfection.

Is Kenny Powers also your hero?  Do you wish that you had come up with an idea as great as Tatters and Tits; then leave a comment on what you thought about Eastbound & Down season four, and the series as a whole.  Plus find all the latest updates from bm23tvreviews on Facebook and Twitter.

Kenny Powers: An American Hero.

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When one thinks of an American Hero, many names come to mind; Evel Kneivel, John Wayne, Ronald Reagan, George Clooney, George Washington Carver, Peter Griffin, Tiger Woods, O.J Simpson, Al Capone, Madonna and Richard Nixon to name a few, however nobody quite embodies the term American Hero like Kenny ‘Fucking’ Powers.

I know what you are thinking, ‘is Kenny Powers America’s greatest ever hero?’ so here me out, has anybody ever embodied the morals and feelings of the everyday American citizen quite like Kenny Powers has?  The answer in my opinion is hell no!

I am now going to continue by explaining why Kenny Powers is the greatest American Hero by talking about his life story, so in case you haven’t seen Eastbound and Down (the Kenny Powers biography) there will be spoilers included here.

How many bums from Shelby, North Carolina make anything of their lives?  Exactly, none; except for one exception Kenny ‘Fucking’ Powers.  From humble beginnings, a young Kenny Powers developed the lightning hot arm that would make the world of baseball stand up and take notice of the greatest pitching talent since Walter Johnson.

Kenny Powers started his MLB career at the Atlanta Braves and was too hot to handle for some diddy team in Hicksville, so moved to the Big Apple to play for the Yankees.  Sadly the Yankees were too short sighted to know that they had baseball royalty on their books and for some reason shipped Kenny Powers out west to the San Francisco Giants.  Kenny Powers decided that he couldn’t be bothered with this different time zones shit so got traded back on to the good-ol East coast to play for the Boston Red Sox, however what Kenny Powers didn’t realise was that Boston was full of Irish dandies so opted for a move back west to the Seattle Mariners.  However it was at this time that Kenny Powers became disenfranchised with the game of baseball; because after all how many times can you keep taking the league by storm and be much better than everyone else around you?  So Kenny Powers decided enough was enough and retired from the game that he had dominated since his inception.

Kenny Powers decided that now was the time to get back to his roots and give back to his hometown community, by heading back to that bum hole of a town Shelby.  First off Kenny Powers got back in tow with his brother Dustin, who had been having problems living up against his famous brother and this had hampered him sexually.  After sorting Dustin’s life out and putting a smile back on Cassie’s face (Dustin’s wife), Kenny got back to getting in touch with his old hick friends as well as offering his services to a local middle school so as to get those fat fucks in some shape.

Any regular person on their first day of teaching would hide away and do their best to not stick out, but not Kenny ‘Fucking’ Powers; he took the bull by the scrotum and showed it who the boss is.  Then came Kenny Power’s Everest’s, the big juicy, large chested, great fuck that is April Buchanan.  Most women can’t contain themselves when Kenny Powers is in the room, let alone making a pass at them; however April Buchanan had some sort of Kenny Powers blocker, plus she was engaged to some weanie.

After conquering teaching only a week in to the job, Kenny Powers decided that now was the time for Kenny Powers to make his triumphant and long awaited return to baseball!  He recruited some loser called Stevie to run the administration shit that Kenny Powers was too busy to do because he is a fucking baseball player and is above that shit, before defeating his arch-rival Reg Mackworthy with a lightning pitch that took that dickfaces’ eye out and his annoying bitch of a friend Ashley Schaeffer.  Kenny Powers was almost back to continuing the greatest baseball career ever, the only thing he had to do was get it on with April Buchanan once again; she naturally obliged and Kenny Powers was officially back!

The offers came flooding in, and Kenny Powers thought ‘fuck all of those offers, I’m going to fucking Tampa!’, however Kenny Powers was betrayed by the fuckwit Pat Anderson and had to flee to Mexico to get away from the haters who thought he would never get back to the top of the game.

Kenny Powers then continued his life in Mexico by becoming Steve the cock-fighter, and in doing so became the greatest fucking cock-fighter Mexico has ever seen (if people don’t know Mexico is the height of cock-fighting) with his rooster Big Red.  However once again Kenny Powers was betrayed by his partners Aaron and the bastard Hector (who had it out for Kenny Powers since the beginning).

After deciding that he couldn’t progress his cock-fighting career any further and having satisfiably sampled the local poontang, Kenny Powers decided to show the whole of smelly Mexico the American Hero they had in their midst, joining the piss poor local baseball team the Charros and becoming their star player.

Once again however Kenny Powers was betrayed by the owner of the Charros as he stole his girlfriend and pleasured her sexually with his mouth.  Kenny Powers gained his revenge by stealing his car and quitting the team, before going off to find his long lost father (whom Stevie had found earlier) so as to tell him what a big baseball player he had become.  Kenny Powers found his father and reunited with him and his newfound brother Casper, before again being betrayed because people in Mexico are sneaky and like to betray people for Pesos and donkeys.

Kenny Powers escaped the prison and went back to the Charros to play one last game in front of a scout from the Texas Rangers who was desperate to get him back in the big leagues.  Kenny Powers took the Charros to the win with his excellent pitching and by reminding his teammates that ‘there is no I in team, but there is a U in cunt’.  With that, Texas couldn’t help but offer Kenny Powers a lucrative contract and ask if he had a spare pair of undies because their undies were covered in jizz because Kenny Powers was just too good for them to contain their jizz that they had created in their pants from watching him play; however he would have to start out at their minor league team before inevitably being promoted.

Kenny Powers had conquered Mexico, much like he had conquered baseball, and decided to head home to Shelby to show all the haters that you can’t put Kenny ‘Fucking’ Powers down.  In returning to Shelby Kenny Powers received the shockingly awful news that April Buchanan was pregnant, which most likely happened because they don’t make condoms to fit cocks the size of Burmese pythons and she wasn’t on the pill.  Nonetheless that powerful Kenny Powers semen had impregnated another willing female.

So Kenny Powers was back in the minors and destroying every batter he came up against whilst playing for the Mertle Beach Mermen.  Kenny Powers was once again the star player in the league and the team, and it was only a matter of time before he got called up to the majors once again.  However everything was derailed when April came and dumped Kenny Powers’ stupid baby Toby on him before disappearing.

Kenny Powers had conquered many things, but becoming a father was going to be his hardest task yet, because Toby was a little dick and would always cry and shit and ruin Kenny Powers’ fun.  Never a man to lay down to any challenge, Kenny Powers’ once again enlisted the help of his assistant Stevie to help look after stupid Toby as Kenny Powers rejuvenated his baseball career.  However Toby put a curse on Kenny and it hampered his game.

If things couldn’t get any worse, the Mermen then signed some douchebag Russian pitcher, who had a really bad haircut (nothing like Kenny Powers’ cool mullet) and an average pitch, but the coach of the Mermen had it out for Kenny Powers so benched him in favour of Ivan Dochenko the smelly Russian.

Once again there were many doubters, and it was made worse by the death of Kenny Powers’ best friend Shane Gerald, from a drug overdosed heart attack which Kenny Powers was in no way connected to.  Those were some rough months for Kenny Powers, in which he also reconnected with his father Eduardo Sanchez Powers, his mother Tammy Powers and his half-brother Casper.  Those were dark days for Kenny Powers indeed, however like the true American Hero he is he came out of those dark times a better man and did to Ivan the Russian what FDR should have done to Stalin all those years ago by butt fucking him all over the mound and showing him how a real man pitches.

Naturally Kenny Powers’ immense pitching in the big game impressed the Texas scouts so much that they paid someone to run over their closing pitcher to open a space for Kenny Powers on the team, and with that Kenny Powers was back in the majors.  Just as this was happening, April re-appeared and stole Toby off of Kenny Powers, just as they had begun to bond, in an attempt to make him pine for home and give up his chance in the majors; however Kenny Powers wasn’t tricked and went anyway.

There it was the big play-off game, Kenny Powers was called on to take the mound and show the world what they had been missing.  Strike.  Strike.  Then Kenny Powers thought to himself ‘fuck this, I’m Kenny ‘Fucking’ Powers, I don’t need this shit’ and walked off the mound.  The world was shocked at the bravery that Kenny Powers had shown because we all know baseball sucks and is beneath Kenny Powers.

Kenny Powers then faked his own death because he knew that the media would never leave him and April alone if he didn’t do it.  Of course Kenny Powers aced pretending to kill himself and as the master of disguise he then changed his identity totally and became a new man.  The end……..of the Kenny Powers story, not the show or his life.

There it is, the reasons that Kenny Powers is the greatest ever American Hero!  He hit the heights and lived the American dream as a star baseball player; he conquered Mexico and became not only the greatest cock-fighter they have ever seen, but also the greatest baseball player they have ever seen.  Kenny Powers then continued his success by showing that he was too good for the minors and quickly being called up to the majors before saying that he was too good for the majors and having the cajones to walk out on them and start a new life with a new identity so that he could become the world’s greatest father without media persecution.  How many other people could have come through the adversity and betrayals Kenny Powers suffered?  Not many, in fact almost none.

Yes one day I hope to live in an America that honours this great man with his own public holiday.  It shall be called Kenny ‘Fucking’ Powers Day, and it will be a day of great celebration and a day that we will all be able to walk about and shout ‘You’re fucking out!’

 

 

Kenny Powers, the embodiment of an American Hero.

 

 

Leave a comment about America’s Gandhi, Kenny Powers.  Tell me what your favourite part of Kenny Powers incredible life story is, or alternatively tell me about how he is the one guy that you may go gay for if given the opportunity.  All comments are welcome.